When I was about 5 years old I awoke one Christmas morning to find many a gift under the Christmas tree for my brothers and me. I wish I could wax nostalgic about all of those gifts and what we each received that year, and how much they meant to me, but to be perfectly honest I only remember one gift that year. And what a glorious gift it was. My uncle had gotten me a Nerf Master Blaster. Purple-double-barreled-Nerf-ball-shooting-goodness, and it was all mine. My older brother Mark already had the Nerf Blast-A-Matic, but it was a single-barreled-wussy-weapon-that-could-only-hold-up-to-four-Nerf-balls-at-a-time…mine could hold six. I couldn’t wait to unleash my Nerf wrath on my brothers, and become the champion of Nerf in the Ruby household, just like I knew I should be. There was however a slight problem, I was tiny, and this Nerf Master Blaster was a bit cumbersome for my 3’5” frame. (Seriously I was tiny tiny, and I still think I’m giving myself the benefit of height here) I could still lift the gun and pump the handle, but the problem was that to get the double barrel action to work properly, I had to be able to pull back on the handle with enough force to get the air pressure to pop the ball out of the  other barrel. This was something I just couldn’t do…I didn’t have the leverage. So I tried to win the Nerf war with just one barrel, and found myself woefully wanting, dreams of my victory quickly dissipated and I was heartbroken, my head hung in shame and defeat.

     Eventually my parents made a compromise, Mark could use my Master Blaster and I would use the Blast-A-Matic, the caveat was that Mark could only ever use four balls and no more. It was a compromise I could live with, and I just bided my time, until I was big enough and strong enough to be able to use my weapon. I practiced. A lot. (I am not kidding). I would sit in the basement and just pump and pull the handle until one day I was just strong enough to make it work. Just like Christmas morning, I remember the day I was able to put to full use my Nerf Master Blaster. It was awesome. I was a champion.

Pictorial evidence of what the Master Blaster and Blast-A-Matic looked like.

A little under a year ago, while going to a movie with a friend, I saw an ad before the movie (don’t even get me started on advertisements at theaters) for a new line of Nerf guns, targeted specifically for girls. Nerf Rebelle. I remember watching the ad; filled with young girls finding their own purple and pink Nerf weapons and employing them in a way only advertisements for girls can; too girly and not realistic.  By the end of the commercial my hands were in fists and I was truly disgusted. Really? Someone in the Nerf marketing department decided that they needed to create an entirely separate line of Nerf weapons for girls? And this was they way they went about it?

Here’s the deal, I am a girl, granted I am not the most girly of girls…in fact far from it, but come on, since when do girls own the colors pink and purple and any shades therein? Since when do we need our own special line of Nerf guns? Yes they may be smaller and easier to handle…hey that makes sense, five year old me would have appreciated that, heck five year old Chris (my younger brother) would have appreciated that. But since when do girls have to be defined by a color scheme and cutesy names. Seriously don’t even get me started on the name REBELLE. The names of the weapons are obnoxious too, the Heartbreaker Bow…I wish I was making this up. Honestly I don’t care about the colors, if they want to make pink, purple, and teal Nerf weapons go ahead, but don’t label them as girls toys. Put them in the Nerf section of the toy aisle, make them available to everyone with no stereotypes attached. Also how about just making Nerf commercials with both boys and girls using Nerf guns together!

I understand that there are differences between boys and girls and I think that’s great and wonderful and incredibly special, we’re complex and intricate creatures. However, there are just some things that don’t warrant special toys and labels and marketing strategies. Nerf guns are fun for all ages, for all people. Unless someone doesn’t like them, and that is their prerogative, and I respect that. Stop putting people into boxes marked male and female, liberal or conservative, believer or non-believer. We are all individuals with gifts, talents, and personalities of our own, and I know personally I’d love to just be seen as me.

I was ten by the time I could master my Nerf Master Blaster, it took me five years of being able to make that Nerf gun fully functional, but in that time I still played dress-up, and make believe, still engaged in endless Nerf, water-balloon, and water gun fights, climbed trees, rode a bike, and skinned my knees. The best part about all of that was, the Nerf guns, trees, dresses, water balloons, bikes, didn’t care if they were being used by a girl or a boy, but just that they were being used at all.

Dear Hasbro, maybe you can remember that when you’re planning for your next line of Nerf Weapons or board games, perhaps just make them enjoyable and usable for years to come.

My mom still has all of our Nerf guns, and for the most part they are all still usable, and I can’t wait to get to pull them out again in the future and wage all out war with them. That Master Blaster still has my name on it.

These pictures are just to give you an idea of what my childhood consisted of when it came to Nerf Wars.