Tag Archives: Movies

All The Single Ladies

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But really this is for all the people…

A couple of weeks ago I decided to go to a movie. I know this may come as a shock to some of you, because I never go to movies. Ever.

FYI it is really hard to make the written word come off as sarcastically as I need it to sometimes.

I had finished my work for the day, didn’t have anything planned for the evening, and I had a free ticket that was about to expire. So I looked up showtimes and movies that passes were usable at, and I headed out to see Cinderella. The theater was basically empty when I entered, which isn’t all that unusual for a 4pm showing on a Thursday afternoon, so I took my seat in the middle of the row about half way up (my preferred viewing zone), and settled in to be thoroughly entertained.

A couple of other people wandered in, a mom with her two small children, another mom/child duo, and then lastly, two teenage girls, who proceeded to sit directly behind me. Normally, this wouldn’t bother me, but as the lights went down and the previews started, these two young ladies, started to chat (again not bothersome, because I have been known to be that person from time to time), but just before the movie started I overheard this snippet of conversation,

“Is she here by herself?”

“Who?”

“The girl right in front of us?”

“I guess so.”

“Man that’s so sad, it always bums me out to see people out by themselves…”

In the moment following this exchange I thought about getting up and moving seats just to make it obvious enough that I had overheard them, I also thought about just turning around and making eye contact. I chose to not do either of those things, mainly because it wouldn’t have changed what I’d heard, and it wouldn’t have changed her perspective.

And to be totally honest the animated short Frozen Fever that preceded the movie had just started and I didn’t want to miss that!

The movie came and went with little more input from the girls behind me, save the comments about the Prince’s attractiveness and eye color. (Whereas I kept picturing Robb Stark’s horrific death scene). I left the theater content and thought little more about it, until the next day.

Since that afternoon I haven’t been able to get past that comment, “it always bums me out to see people out by themselves.” Well dear one have I got news for you…

To the young woman who sat behind me at Cinderella on April 9th,

I am sorry that my presence at the theater “bummed” you out. Heaven forbid you see people living their lives as they do, especially if it doesn’t fit into the way you currently see the world.

I am not really sorry, I don’t know if you picked up on that, but I am sorry that you couldn’t see me as I am, a young woman, who enjoys going to the movies. A person who got tired of never doing what they wanted to do, because they had nobody to do it with or people who didn’t want to do it with them. A person who had to build up the courage to actually do things on their own, because our world thinks it strange for people to eat out alone, go to concerts by themselves, or to the movies alone. A person who had to ignore the persistent negative feeling when they were out alone that everyone was talking about them and pitying them. A person that once they found the confidence to do these things also found freedom in being able to fly solo. Because I am that person.

I could regale you with stories about what I have seen and the interactions that I have had whilst doing things without the company of others. And trust me you would be more than entertained. But you don’t know me.

Please know that I am not mad at you, but I am a little bummed that you can’t see how awesome it is to see someone who is living their life without regret, because that’s what I was doing, even in the smallest of ways.

Someday I hope you do take notice of those things.

I hope that during the course of living your life, you take chances and discover new things.

I hope that someday you get to travel and see the world, I hope someday you also find the courage to do things alone, that you may normally only do with others. I hope someday you realize how nice it can be to go and see a movie by yourself. Seriously it’s great, especially dramas. And most of all I hope you someday see how normal it really is to do these things alone.

I am not unsocial, I have friends, good ones. I have friends that have driven what you may consider a great distance to see a movie with me, and I have returned the favor. Hell I’ve driven great distances to see a movie BY MYSELF. This doesn’t sadden me, because I am doing the things I want to do. I won’t regret not going to that concert because I didn’t have anyone to go with, I’ll have a great time, and surely have stories to tell.

I may have been alone for that 120 minute period, but I am far from lonely. 

Sincerely,

Me.

PS If anyone is truly upset about my Game of Thrones spoiler, please understand that happened two years ago, and you are reading this on the internet.

***Updated***
Apparently Slate and I had the same thought…this is good to and super brief!

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2015/04/27/having_fun_in_public_women_should_do_it_too.html

The Worst Question

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“What’s your favorite movie?”

That’s it. Right there, those four words (five if we didn’t have the contraction). Yup. That is the WORST question you could ask me.

When I a senior in high school I thought nothing could be worse, than someone asking me, “What I was going to do with my life?” But that quickly went away, and what was left in it’s place, was the inevitable unanswerable question. “What’s your favorite movie?”

Now when I was a kid, this answer was always easy to answer. Between the ages of 3-8 it was probably a tie between The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and whatever Disney movie was recently released. From about 9-10 it was whatever Ninja movie my mother would rent for my brothers and I, so any of the 3 Ninja movies and Surf Ninjas.

These are all classics, but if you’ve never seen them and they are not a part of your nostalgic repertoire, don’t watch them, because you’ll think I am crazy

The summer of my fifth grade year on, if asked this most probative and obnoxious question, my answer was always the same, Newsies. That summer my mom had received a free movie of her choice from our favorite video store (Rest in Peace Video Excitement) and even though my younger brother denies it, we both chose Newsies. We then proceeded, he and I, to watch that movie everyday for the rest of the summer. It may have been a flop at the box office, it may be the movie Christian Bale (yes that Christian Bale), regretted making the most. But it had some seriously catchy tunes and could make me smile every day.

Eventually as time wore on, saying that Newsies was my favorite movie, became more of a knee jerk reaction. It had long become a fond memory and watched seldomly, but it was an answer, and one I could easily defend when necessary, or was so baffling that it shut the person up rather quickly.

In college I quickly came to realize that answering this question was like navigating a mine field. Depending on who was asking the question, you had to an answer that was either just pretentious enough to satisfy the cine-files, just jock-y enough to satisfy the athletes/frat brothers, just rom-com-y enough to satisfy the gal pals, or just independent/musical enough to satisfy the theatre peeps.  Though in all honesty the theatre people were always a mixed bag, you just have to play it one on one with them and when in a group setting best to just ignore the question or defer to someone else’s answer.

So I developed a hard a fast way to answer this question. I never classify my answer as my favorite movie.  For example:

Them: “Kelly, what’s your favorite movie?”

Me: “Huh, well currently I’ve been on a Marvel kick and I’ve really enjoyed Iron Man.”

Them: “Oh yeah, I really liked that movie, but I think I prefer RDJ in Sherlock Holmes.”

Me: “He’s also really good in Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang and I can’t wait to see Chef. I mean it’s really just a small part, but between him and Jon Favreau there’s really nothing that can go wrong…”

See how that works? I just deflect, then overwhelm with information until we’ve steered the conversation into a safe zone, or I’ve bored them to death.

However, you have to be ready to defend your answer, because sometimes people won’t like your answer and they’ll be sure to let you know. Last summer, over dinner with friends I was asked to name my favorite movie.  I made mention of the fact that though it wasn’t my favorite movie, it was the movie that was most representative of how I felt about that time of the year. The movie I picked was  A River Runs Through It.  Apparently that was not the correct answer because it sparked a debate among the table as a whole. I defend my answer and I moved on.  At the end of the conversation, I had answered the question to my liking, albeit I had tweaked it a little bit, but I was comfortable with it, regardless of how my friend felt.

So here’s the deal, if you’re going to ask me that question, please be okay with the fact that I may just ignore you. Also I may answer without answering you and talk you in circles. But please know that if you ask the question with the intent of belittling the answer that I give you. Just save your breath, after all you’ll spare me the teeth grinding frustration of having to answer, in my opinion,  an unanswerable question.

So what’s your favorite movie?

Kidding! 

P.S. Props to my mom for always saying that Newsies would be way better as Broadway musical than a movie. You win again mom.