Tag Archives: Catholic

Into The Unknown

So if you’re reading this now it means you’ve most likely been directed here from my Facebook and/or Instagram post. Welcome to my blog, the water is usually warm here so feel free to swim around, but seriously no pressure. Okay, let’s get to the point.

I’m leaving my job as the youth minister in Bozeman at the end of June.

I am stepping away simply because I have felt called to move on for awhile now and I’ve just been avoiding stepping into the unknown.

So that is the answer to the next inevitable question that I’m sure some of you have: What will I be doing next? That’s the exciting and terrifying part, I don’t know. There are a couple of things in the works, but for right now I am leaving one thing with no idea of what comes next and if that makes you anxious, trust me it makes me 100 times more anxious than you. So now you may be asking, “Why are you doing this then?” Because I am being asked to put my trust wholeheartedly in God and for too long I’ve been straddling the doorway, telling myself that I would only leave when I knew exactly what I would be doing next. However life doesn’t always work that way and God had other plans for me (and I’m sure was shaking his head at my stubbornness). I love what I do and I love the ministry that I serve in, that hasn’t changed, but I am being asked to step out of the doorway and trust more fully, and while totally terrifying, I truly am excited for what will come next.

Now that I’ve ripped that bandaid off, what I really want to say is thank you…so without further ado…

To the Bozeman community: You welcomed me with open arms (and in some cases open homes) when I arrived here on an August day 8 years ago. I truly had no idea what to expect then, but I know now that Bozeman will always be a place for me to call home. I grew up  as an adult and as a youth minister here, I failed (sometimes really hard) here,  but I became all the stronger for it, I learned so much about myself and ministry here. I was blessed to see a church remodeled and a new church built, to see the communities grow and support each other through hard times and joyful times. To meet 6th graders new to middle school only to watch them graduate from high school and go onto college. To see former high school freshman grow to be tremendous disciples and peer leaders because of the example set for them by their older peers. To see young men and women graduate from high school then college only to take the world head on. I have stories to last me a lifetime and memories to last me two. 

For the parishes and parishioners, for the staff at Holy Rosary and Resurrection, for the other youth pastors and youth ministry community in Bozeman, for their sage wisdom and lively conversations, thank you for welcoming me in and for all you do for our community here.

For the parents: thank you for trusting me with your children. Thank you for the hours of time you spent helping me find my way, for the phone calls and emails and driving and snacks provided. Thank you for wanting more for your child’s faith formation and thank you for challenging me to do more and be better. I know I didn’t always accomplish everything you and I would have liked, but I hope we at least made a start. I can only ask that you continue to help whoever comes next, and please know I couldn’t do even an ounce of what I do without you. Thank you so very much.

For the young people (current and former*)…I’ll be really honest, I’ve written and re-written this over and over, and I’ll never get it quite right, but I want to tell you that you’re incredible. I know sometimes I frustrate you, I know you don’t always understand my pop culture references (because I’m old), and I know sometimes I make you roll your eyes so hard you’re not sure they’ll roll back around. But I need you to know it has been the greatest privilege of my life so far, that I have been able to laugh with you, to share dumb stories with you, car rides, bible studies, games, tears, and most importantly to pray with and for you. My greatest ministers/teachers were the ones who walked with me through life rather than just “preached at me” I hope that I was able to show you Christ at least once through my actions more than words. A person gets into youth ministry for many reasons, but youth ministers can all agree that they want to share the Gospel with young people and doing so is a joy that can rarely be matched. But no one ever tells the youth ministers that there are a lot of phone calls, staff meetings, emails, organization, fundraisers, and the like, just to spend that 1-2 hours per week with the young people. But every youth minister I know understands that all that behind the scenes work is totally worth it to spend time with you because you, young person, are totally worth it. Always. Every week. Even when I was tired and yelled at you. It was ALWAYS worth it. I will miss you all dearly, in a way that will make you all roll your eyes even more. I want you to know that I am endlessly proud to know each and every one of you. I ask that you continue to pray and maybe throw a prayer or two my way, and rest assured you will be in mine. I hope that you seek Christ in all things, don’t be afraid to ask questions and challenge the answers, encounter the sacraments, participate in the Mass, and be kind to others.

That last bit is applicable to everyone.

After June I will be back in Kalispell finishing out some things, praying and searching for what’s next, and spending time with my stupid adorable nephew who is growing too fast. Please don’t hesitate to reach out and I promise when I know what’s next, you’ll know what’s next.

Until next time…

Kelly

*”former” just means you’re my former youth…you’re still younger than me, which I know you’ll gladly point out to me when you get the chance. 

Please Take Care

It’s election day. A day of democracy, a day of anxiety, and unfortunately a day filled with fear and hurtful if not hateful rhetoric.

I voted today. I posted a picture on Instagram and Facebook. I had funny tweets about my time standing in line at the polls. I used hashtags.

I took seriously my civic duty, my right as an American citizen of age, I voted. More importantly I took time to read and to prayerfully discern candidates and their platforms, the ballot initiatives for my state and city. As an active, involved Catholic, I formed my conscience. And regardless of the outcome of this day, I find comfort in my faith and knowledge that I did not go against my conscience.

I am sitting here now re-watching for the millionth, okay that’s an exaggeration it’s only my fourth, time the first season of The West Wing, I find myself wrapped up in the world of Aaron Sorkin’s mind trying to find just the right balance of wit, charm, and snark to draft a tweet about Sam Seaborn and Ainsley Hayes, and their fictional (and I believe winnable) presidential campaign. Alas I know that this is not reality, because I keep checking my social media and I am yet again reminded that the rose-colored glasses of good television writing can only be my escape for so long.

So far social media has been overwhelmingly positive, an out pouring of encouragement for people to get to the polls, to go and vote, to exercise their rights and freedoms. I love this. Because I love humanity, granted I can be as cynical as the next person, but at the end of the day I can see the hope and the possibilities that humanity can accomplish. At the end of most days I am optimistic.

My faith gives me that optimism. My faith reminds me that I am a part of this creation, that I am created with and for dignity and that it is my job to make sure that others know that they are loved and created for more. I try to do that everyday, though I know I don’t always succeed. That’s okay I keep trying. On a day like today nothing is more important to me than that.

…and everything was going so well, that is until a little while ago. I’ve started to see the ugly permeate my newsfeed, some of it I can shake off because (unfortunately) it is a part of the news cycle. Some of it however, hurts me deeply. Why? Because it is judgement masked as truth.

I believe in sharing the truth and I honor other’s opinions, it the beauty of our God given free will. What I don’t believe in is using truth to shame others or belittle their thoughts and opinions.

So to my Catholic and Christian friends please don’t tell people that they are not Catholic or Christian if they vote for “so and so,” you do not know their hearts, minds, or consciences, and it is not your job to know. That’s between them and God. I am not suggesting you agree with them, that’s far from the point. I appreciate your voice, I appreciate that you are on fire for Christ and want to share the Gospel. But please take care to not belittle the teachings of Christ by telling others what does and does not make them followers of Him.

Choose to love them. Not in spite of their beliefs and choices, but simply because they are created by God. They are valued by Him and as such should be valued by you.

I don’t need to know who you voted for and why, because it’s none of my business, and more importantly it won’t make me treat you any differently.

I respect and love you too, and ask for your forgiveness on the days when I forget to value and respect you as you should be treated, as a child of God.

Take care of each other today and everyday.

Miss Montana Had It Wrong…

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A couple of years ago I found myself watching the Miss America pageant. Don’t ask me why, I have no idea. It was on and I was intrigued. At the very beginning of the televised part, all the girls are introduced and they get to have a clever little sentence they say about which state they are from.  I have never watched a Miss America pageant, so I became instantly curious about what Miss Montana would say about our beautiful Big Sky State. Perhaps something about the speed limit, or the fact that even the democrats own guns, but no, Miss Montana made a comment about our wonderful state only having two seasons, winter and pre-winter. What?! There are so many better things to say that would be funny and highlight where you come from…all she really did was repeat a poorly constructed joke and belittle the place she was supposed to be representing, after that I changed the channel.

Now some of you might be asking why I was so offended by a joke about the weather, yes Montana does have a long winter, and we never know when it will start or end, but we really do experience the other seasons, I promise. However short and fleeting our spring, summer, and autumn are. They sure do come with pizazz, and it is best to take advantage while you have the chance. This is why as soon as it hits 45 degrees in March (or April) we’re all wearing shorts and t-shirts, come visit us during the summer and the lakes are full of boaters and swimmers, the mountains full of hikers and the parks full of picnic baskets. And when the leaves of fall start to appear in September and October the sidewalks are full of people walking and kicking up the fallen leaves, enjoying the new crisp chill in the air and apple cider.

I know it is standard for us as a people and culture to see winter as the end of the year, however, I have always seen winter as the renewal and beginning. Maybe it’s my Catholic beliefs, and the fact that Advent is the beginning of the new liturgical year, or maybe it’s just that when everything is covered with a beautiful layer of cold snow. A snow that deadens all sound and yet reflects all light, and brightens even the darkest of nights. It’s clean, and when I look out at the streets, trees, houses, and mountains. I see a fresh start, a new beginning.  Its calm and its peaceful, a deep breath before everything picks back up again.

Spring is that renewal realized, everything is cleaned up and nature is prepared to make way for all the coming regrowth. We as humans do that too, after winter we seem to have more energy, hello spring-cleaning! Spring gives us hope. Again, this might have something to do with the fact that in the liturgical year Spring is a new beginning with Lent and Easter…I know it doesn’t seem that way, but as a Christian Catholic there is a beauty in the waiting of Lent, just like we wait and hold our breaths for new flowers and the leaves to appear green on the trees.  Then with the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Easter there is new life and we can rejoice in that, just as we do when we can play outside again, and yes, even mow the lawn.  Spring is rejuvenating.

With summer we are at our peak, we’ve settled into the re-creation of nature and life, as we know it continues on. This really won’t settle in until after the school thing, when you’re working full time. Because hey, when you’re an adult, you don’t get 3 months off for a summer vacation, for most people they maybe get a week or two. Unless you’re a teacher, or a youth minister…I still work, it’s just more fun during the summer, hence the reason I took the job, duh. Just kidding. Summer really is easy going because we’re all settle into our routine of work and recreation.

Then comes autumn, which is one of my favorite seasons, don’t get me wrong I love them all, but there’s just something about the color change and the temperature drop, and postseason baseball. Okay, a lot of that has to do with postseason baseball, but more on that later. 

I think there is something so beautiful and sad about fall. In my mind it really is the end of the year, a time for me to reflect on the past 10 months, and to make a change, if there is something that has been bothering me that whole time, I either choose to actively change it immediately, or I let it go. I do a lot of letting go. I think that’s really what fall is all about. Prepping you for the new things to come, to make room for renewal.  

Just like you have to make room on your hard drive for more music, photos, videos, etc. It’s so easy to hold onto things, and to let them define us for the next however many days, months, or years, but just like the trees have to shed their leaves for the winter, to prepare for the new buds in the spring, we humans need to shed all that hold us back. And what better time than fall? It’s almost as if God devised the seasons as a guide for us to follow, a cycle for us to use to our advantage. 

If you’ve ever listened to Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, this makes perfect sense. Seriously it’s beautiful listen to it.

I have visited New York in the fall, Washington and Oregon in the spring and have spent a fair share of my summer weeks in the hot and humid mid-West and Southern U.S. I have even been to a few of those places during the winter, and as beautiful as all those seasons are in their own right, given the choice I will always choose my long Montana winters and my wonderful, albeit short, spring, summer, and autumn days.

Remember that as the leaves change and fall, it might be worth your time to take a look back and re-evaluated what’s important to hold on to, and what is worth letting go.

…and to answer that question you’ve been asking in your head. No I did not know Miss Montana in the pageant. Though last year’s Miss Montana and I went to high school and did theatre together and the new Miss Montana grew up down the street from me…so yeah, maybe Montana is just one big, small town.