Tag Archives: Baseball

Sorry Not Sorry

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First, let me just start off apologizing for this title. I truly hate this phrase, it started out as just a working title, and then I legitimately couldn’t think of anything better. The only redeeming quality there is to this is that I didn’t hashtag it. Though just using the word hashtag, feels like I just cheapened the moment. My deepest apologies for being so modernly cliche.

I joined Twitter back in the dark ages of 2008…which by the way is a fairly big accomplishment considering Twitter was really just starting to take off at that time in larger metropolitan areas like NYC. Upon signing up I had to pick my Twitter name, a profile picture, and write something in the “about me” section. All of that was relatively easy, my picture is one of my all time favorites…me riding the wooden escalator in the NYC Macy’s in homage to Elf, my username, is basically a nickname from high school with my favorite number attached, and my bio was short to the point, and I thought represented my existential self perfectly. 

“Live, Laugh, Love.”

In other words, my bio, was stupid, cutesy, cliche, and safe.

When I was a kid in elementary school I had no problem liking what I liked and telling everyone in the whole world about it. Heck, I got “married” while on a family camping trip when I was four, and my groom and I skipped around holding hands telling the whole wide world that we were getting married.

Don’t worry, pretty sure it wasn’t legal, unless there is some weird loophole in Montana State Law that says marriages between 4 year old are only made legal if the wedding was witnessed by both families, was presided over by an elder sibling, and a Berenstein Bears book was used in place of a Bible…stranger things have happened.

I was labeled the “weird” girl in 4th grade (Weird by the way was the outcast label of the time…so much has changed) and I was proud of it! I liked listening to the Beatles, and watching old black and white movies with Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant, I loved watching Star Trek Next Gen, and I lived for the Batman animated cartoon everyday after school and X-Men the animated series every Saturday morning. I also liked watching the Power Rangers…but that wasn’t cool so I blamed my watching it on my younger brother. 

It wasn’t until I was in college that I realized the proper terminology for what I was. NERD. I was and am a huge nerd. However, for some reason, one that I am still trying to figure out, I buried the nerd flag. I was still nerdy about a lot of things, but I wasn’t being truthful about myself and who I was. 

I now strive to be myself all the time, I love the things that I love, and I shouldn’t be ashamed of those things. I know some people will laugh when they find out that I am a proud Kickstarted backer of the Veronica Mars Movie,and others will just pretend they didn’t read that I have recently become addicted to the MTV show Teen Wolf because it’s freaky and amazing and certain character arcs are all the reason you need to watch a teen soap about supernatural beings living in a fictions town in California.

Are you beginning to get my point?

At the end of it all I don’t want to have any regrets, I don’t want to be ashamed of who I was created to be. Which as my new Twitter bio states:

“Pop Culture Nerd, Comic Book Lover, Baseball Fanatic, Middle Child, Youth Minister. ”

In my last post I talked about not being afraid, and this follows right in that same vein. At the end of the day I am not afraid to be me. 

I am unapologetically, 100%, authentically, genuinely, me. And I am not sorry for that. (I also think that somewhere in the space time vortex 10 year old Kelly is cheering and punching the air for me now)

Speaking of Nerdiness…

This is a thing if you like nerds, comics, movies, celebrities, pop culture, ect. that you should check out.

www.iwantmynerdhq.com

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If Only…

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Game 6 of the World Series was last night. Now I know I just posted about baseball, but this is the last one for a while.

I would say, “I promise,” but I can’t and won’t promise that, baseball is never far from my mind.

As I’m sure you know the Boston Red Sox won the Fall Classic last night in a 6-1 win over the St. Louis Cardinals. This hurt. A lot. No one wants to lose; in fact it hurt less when we lost to the Giants in the NLCS last season than last night.

I am now using ‘we’ in the sense that I am apart of the team…it’s just something that fans do. Don’t judge.

I had to work last night so I didn’t get to the bar to watch the game until the middle of the 6th inning. As I got out of my car and was walking in a gentleman coming out of the bar said to me,

“You might not want to go in there if you’re a Cardinals fan.” (It was pretty obvious as I was wearing my Freese jersey).  I responded, “I know the score, but I have to watch my team, win or lose.” The gent smiled and responded in turn, “Good for you.”

I had to see it end, good or bad. You never know I might have missed a biggest comeback in World Series history and I just couldn’t take that chance.

Here’s the thing for some unknown and baffling reason, I am the most superstitious person when it comes to baseball. Seriously I’m not kidding. The rules I place on my superstitions change from season to season. For example: during the postseason this year I wore my Cardinals sweatshirt twice on game days during the NLCS against the Dodgers. We lost both times. So obviously, my brain tells me that I can no longer wear my sweatshirt on game days. And two years ago during our incredible and unbelievable postseason run (along with World Series victory) I refused to post anything baseball related on social media. Seriously, nothing, there were no “go Cards #postseason #wildcard” tweets or “David Freese is my boy, I knew we could do it at home!” Facebook status updates after that legendary Game 6. I posted a few things after we won the series, but even those were tempered. With the exception of one series of tweets to a friend of mine, and even that was all in good fun.

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There is one superstition that I adhere to no matter what and that is no trash talk. I absolutely refuse to engage in trash talking. A passionate and intelligent debate, sure. Bashing the other team simply because they are competing against my team? Not a chance. The superstition lies in the idea that if I do engage in trash talking the competition that some sort of karmic comeuppance will cause my team to suffer.

I don’t believe in Karma, in fact the rational and faithful Catholic that I am knows that none of my superstitious beliefs actually affect the outcome of a sporting event that I’m not personally participating in, but there’s always that “what if?” And for some illogical reason that “what if,” outweighs all other logic. So I choose not to trash talk.

And yes you could insert the theological argument here that sin affects us all and that it is a ripple effect and that sin isn’t strictly personal. I know, I’ve stated that case many times to young minds. However I’m on my soapbox about sports, and I’m not talking the type of superstition that would travel down the road of sin.

In the end I just find it easier to be gracious, in winning AND in losing. I find that at the end of the day, those people who try and trash talk me will be left speechless and maybe respect me more, when I reply with a “congrats” and “great game.” (Though let’s be honest last night’s game…not so great, not because they lost, but mostly because they weren’t playing up to their potential).  Being gracious and humble will take you far in life, and I’m not talking false humility or being under-handedly gracious. It’s not about taking the high road to shame others. I really am happy for the fans of the Red Sox, it’s nice to have a winning team. I know. That doesn’t mean that I like the Red Sox I don’t, I’m still bitter from 2004, but more over, I’m not a huge fan of the organization. But hey, I accept that people feel the same way about the Cardinals, it is the nature of competitive sports and their fan bases.

I understand that what I wear on a game day and what I tweet about won’t affect the outcome of the game, but I do think in life, graciousness and humility will always affect the outcome of how people treat you and how you treat people. Be good to each other.

Also, this new twitter format made it really difficult to be a Cardinals fan last night.

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9 Innings of Bliss

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It’s the end of October and Postseason Baseball is in full swing, as an avid St. Louis Cardinals Fan and a lover of baseball since I was a kid, October is like the Superbowl to me.

Growing up and watching baseball in the 90s I saw some amazing things, I saw the Braves rise and fall, the Yankees dominate, Randy Johnson and the Diamondbacks come out of nowhere, and even the year without baseball.  All that time I loved to watch the game, but would become easily bored, leaving the living room if we were watching at home, and even wandering the stadium with my cousins when we were lucky enough to be at a game.

The 90s were also a tough time to be a Redbirds fan, I don’t know if you know this, but the team isn’t really listed much in the history of that decade, with the exception of Mark McGwire in ’98 and I don’t know if you follow baseball, but that didn’t end well. However the mid to late 2000s and now the 2010s have been very good to my team.

Seriously…have you been watching baseball the last three years.

The problem with my team’s sudden surge in popularity and wins, however means I am constantly having to defend myself against a large number of people who will classify me as a bandwagon fan. This irks me. While I may not be a numbers person, and I don’t memorize batting averages, ERAs, or RISP, I do know what’s going on with my team…all the time, I follow the trades in the off season, the recruits and draftees and their ascent through the farm and triple A system. I know what’s going on, on the field and if anyone were to sit down and actually talk with me about baseball they would know that I didn’t just “hop on the bandwagon.”

However, engaging people in that conversation can be difficult. Why? Because baseball is a slow sport, there is no time clock on a baseball game; it will go on as long as it takes for a team to win. While some people find this tedious and boring to watch, I revel in it. Over the years of watching and learning about the game I have found that baseball is a finesse sport, a unique chess match that happens on the field, and one that will be different every time.

The past couple of summers I have spent a lot of time watching baseball, mostly on TV, and when I watch I become very still and calm, you never know when someone will make an amazing catch or hit a grand slam. Patience is the name of the game, even when you get nervous and the team is losing. Patience and a cool head is what keeps pitchers’ in the game, what keeps the batters cool at the plate, and what keeps the fielders from making mistakes. Even in the most stressful situations patience and calm will keep things from getting out of hand. Long gone are the days of my fidgeting and leaving the couch, and when I’m lucky enough to get to see a game in person, there’s no aimless wandering around the stadium. That’s why you show up early.

Watching baseball, has given me a better prayer life. Seriously, it has taught me to be present in the moment but to keep a calm mind and heart. It use to take me a long time to sit down and calm my mind when it came to my personal prayer, and even then within 20 minutes I was fidgeting and putting myself on the clock. (You know like just 10 more minutes and you’ll be good). The problem with this is that I was never fully putting myself in the presence of God. I would spend 10 minutes calming my thoughts, 10 minutes whining to God and asking for advice, and then another 20 minutes thinking about how much longer I needed to sit and “listen” before my prayer time would be considered adequate.

This is not how you pray.

Prayer is a conversation with God, which means that it needs to be a two way street, if prayer was meant to be one way, it would simply be called a monologue, of the internal variety. There is no time constraint on prayer no minimums or maximums, prayer is about being open, calm, and peaceful, to communicate and converse with God. 

Listening is the hard part, to do that we have to learn how to calm our thoughts, to be okay with sitting in silence and waiting to receive him.

Baseball taught me how to wait, something we struggle with in our NOW society, people find baseball boring and outdated, I think this is because we’ve forgotten what it means to be patient, how to wait, and to be okay with waiting and not having the answer come right away.

They say the best baseball happens in October, and that may be, it certainly seems more exciting. However, astonishing and beautiful plays happen in baseball all season long, you just have to be willing to wait and see.  The Fall Classic may only come around once a year, but your relationship with Christ is there everyday, if only you choose to participate.

On that note…

Go Cards!

Miss Montana Had It Wrong…

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A couple of years ago I found myself watching the Miss America pageant. Don’t ask me why, I have no idea. It was on and I was intrigued. At the very beginning of the televised part, all the girls are introduced and they get to have a clever little sentence they say about which state they are from.  I have never watched a Miss America pageant, so I became instantly curious about what Miss Montana would say about our beautiful Big Sky State. Perhaps something about the speed limit, or the fact that even the democrats own guns, but no, Miss Montana made a comment about our wonderful state only having two seasons, winter and pre-winter. What?! There are so many better things to say that would be funny and highlight where you come from…all she really did was repeat a poorly constructed joke and belittle the place she was supposed to be representing, after that I changed the channel.

Now some of you might be asking why I was so offended by a joke about the weather, yes Montana does have a long winter, and we never know when it will start or end, but we really do experience the other seasons, I promise. However short and fleeting our spring, summer, and autumn are. They sure do come with pizazz, and it is best to take advantage while you have the chance. This is why as soon as it hits 45 degrees in March (or April) we’re all wearing shorts and t-shirts, come visit us during the summer and the lakes are full of boaters and swimmers, the mountains full of hikers and the parks full of picnic baskets. And when the leaves of fall start to appear in September and October the sidewalks are full of people walking and kicking up the fallen leaves, enjoying the new crisp chill in the air and apple cider.

I know it is standard for us as a people and culture to see winter as the end of the year, however, I have always seen winter as the renewal and beginning. Maybe it’s my Catholic beliefs, and the fact that Advent is the beginning of the new liturgical year, or maybe it’s just that when everything is covered with a beautiful layer of cold snow. A snow that deadens all sound and yet reflects all light, and brightens even the darkest of nights. It’s clean, and when I look out at the streets, trees, houses, and mountains. I see a fresh start, a new beginning.  Its calm and its peaceful, a deep breath before everything picks back up again.

Spring is that renewal realized, everything is cleaned up and nature is prepared to make way for all the coming regrowth. We as humans do that too, after winter we seem to have more energy, hello spring-cleaning! Spring gives us hope. Again, this might have something to do with the fact that in the liturgical year Spring is a new beginning with Lent and Easter…I know it doesn’t seem that way, but as a Christian Catholic there is a beauty in the waiting of Lent, just like we wait and hold our breaths for new flowers and the leaves to appear green on the trees.  Then with the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Easter there is new life and we can rejoice in that, just as we do when we can play outside again, and yes, even mow the lawn.  Spring is rejuvenating.

With summer we are at our peak, we’ve settled into the re-creation of nature and life, as we know it continues on. This really won’t settle in until after the school thing, when you’re working full time. Because hey, when you’re an adult, you don’t get 3 months off for a summer vacation, for most people they maybe get a week or two. Unless you’re a teacher, or a youth minister…I still work, it’s just more fun during the summer, hence the reason I took the job, duh. Just kidding. Summer really is easy going because we’re all settle into our routine of work and recreation.

Then comes autumn, which is one of my favorite seasons, don’t get me wrong I love them all, but there’s just something about the color change and the temperature drop, and postseason baseball. Okay, a lot of that has to do with postseason baseball, but more on that later. 

I think there is something so beautiful and sad about fall. In my mind it really is the end of the year, a time for me to reflect on the past 10 months, and to make a change, if there is something that has been bothering me that whole time, I either choose to actively change it immediately, or I let it go. I do a lot of letting go. I think that’s really what fall is all about. Prepping you for the new things to come, to make room for renewal.  

Just like you have to make room on your hard drive for more music, photos, videos, etc. It’s so easy to hold onto things, and to let them define us for the next however many days, months, or years, but just like the trees have to shed their leaves for the winter, to prepare for the new buds in the spring, we humans need to shed all that hold us back. And what better time than fall? It’s almost as if God devised the seasons as a guide for us to follow, a cycle for us to use to our advantage. 

If you’ve ever listened to Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, this makes perfect sense. Seriously it’s beautiful listen to it.

I have visited New York in the fall, Washington and Oregon in the spring and have spent a fair share of my summer weeks in the hot and humid mid-West and Southern U.S. I have even been to a few of those places during the winter, and as beautiful as all those seasons are in their own right, given the choice I will always choose my long Montana winters and my wonderful, albeit short, spring, summer, and autumn days.

Remember that as the leaves change and fall, it might be worth your time to take a look back and re-evaluated what’s important to hold on to, and what is worth letting go.

…and to answer that question you’ve been asking in your head. No I did not know Miss Montana in the pageant. Though last year’s Miss Montana and I went to high school and did theatre together and the new Miss Montana grew up down the street from me…so yeah, maybe Montana is just one big, small town.