Back in the fall of 2008 during my senior year of college, before “selfies” and “duckface” were a part of our urban dictionary, I spent a week in NYC visiting my friend Eric. The trip was great and the week was amazing and ever since I left, I’ve spent a decent amount of time thinking about how to get back to the city and spend my life watching Broadway shows. I came back from that trip with a few gifts for family and friends, excellent memories, and one pair of sunglasses.

The interesting thing about these sunglasses, were they were just another pair of cheap $5 glasses. Honestly the only distinguishing feature was that they were yellow. I bought them on the street, from a guy who had hundreds of these yellow glasses and was just trying to get rid of his inventory, hence the price. I liked them, I thought they would be fun, and I have stupidly sensitive eyes so I collect cheap sunglasses so as to always have a pair on hand. These would be no exception, they would be worn until they broke or I found a new pair.

Fast forward about a year. I graduated from college, and after much deliberation, stress, fear, and yes, even tears, I was now working with a young adult traveling ministry called Reach Youth Ministry. I spent about 10 months traveling from Washington to Ohio and everything in between, putting on retreats for grade school through high school students. It was a wonderful and fulfilling experience and all along the way, those yellow sunglasses could be spotted atop my head or on my face.

After my year with Reach I was again blessed with a dream job, becoming a multi-parish youth minister in my home diocese. This was a new adventure for me and from the very first night of youth group, my trusty sunglasses were always by my side.

Somewhere along the way these yellow sunglasses became my trademark. Kelly and yellow sunglasses had become synonymous with each other, I almost couldn’t go anywhere without them. Who knew a small accessory made of plastic with a splash of color could become such a defining piece of who I am? As a youth minister and someone who is actively involved in my faith and church, did I really want to be so defined by an accessory? I felt as if I was being reduced to something so small, literally a pair of sunglasses. I didn’t want to be the minister with the gimmick; I wanted my faith to shine through my life and the way I live it.

So I changed it up, stopped wearing them all the time, I would leave them in my car or on my desk. I just squinted a lot when I was outside. Whenever I was asked about the sunglasses I just brushed the question aside in a false sense of aloofness. Finally a good friend of mine asked me about the sunglasses and when I brushed him off, he got in my face (in a non-confrontational way). I finally admitted my fears of being associated with a pair of sunglasses and how I didn’t want them to define me as a person or my ministry, and he laughed at me. (See! This is why I didn’t want to tell anyone, because I knew it was ridiculous). However, he explained to me that those sunglasses didn’t define me as a person or a minister, because who I am and what I was doing with my life was set about long before those sunglasses came into it, and it was only if I let them define me that they would.  Damn him, he was right. No more! I was going to define those sunglasses. I would own them, and not let them own me. So I set about to change my attitude about myself and those sunglasses.

I stopped being concerned about the sunglasses. Hell, I liked them, and I didn’t want to be caught up in a petty insecurity. It became my goal to share the Gospel message as often and as best as I could. If someone happened to associate yellow sunglasses with me, so be it. Maybe they would remember what I taught them about the love and sacrifice of the cross, because all they could focus on at youth group that night was the bright yellow sunglasses that were on my head, when it was the middle of December and dark outside and I had no business having them on. In ministry we are lucky if we get to see the fruits of the seeds we hope to sow, but that doesn’t stop us from sowing them, and I was going to use every tool I had.

There are times in our lives in which we need to make a sacrifice of self, to let something else define us, and yet we sometimes allow ourselves fall victim to our own insecurities. I let my Catholic beliefs and traditions define me, because it is so intricately woven into my being. I stopped giving in to my insecurities about an accessory and chose to let those sunglasses be a trademark of the message I was and am trying to spread about faith and the Church.

I am re-defining those yellow sunglasses, they still provide much needed eye protection, but I hope and work toward the goal that someday some kid will see a pair of yellow sunglasses and be reminded of the love of Christ and the sacrifice he made.