It’s been awhile dear (fictional) readers. I know that I was going to try to be better about posting on a “regular” basis. But words are hard. As much as I’ve tried to post even something short and entertaining…I can’t. Unless I truly feel like what I am going to say/type have meaning. That everything I put down in this virtual collection of my whims, thoughts, and opinions could at some point help someone.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine, in the midst of a conversation asked me if I had always internalized my feelings. my reaction was a quick short, “HA!” It was almost as if the response was instinctual. No, I haven’t always internalized my feelings, that was a learned behavior. I could track it back to elementary school, but even more so to certain instances from my early college life. Things happen, people were involved, and words were said…those words have formed me, changed me.

Words. Words. Words.

I could forget everything that happened leading up to these experiences, but I will never forget the words that were said, and I will never forget what they made me feel.

When I was young the greatest lie I was ever told, came in the form a sing-song nursery type rhyme, “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

I’ll take bruises and broken bones any day over the scars left from things said to me. Bruises fade, bones heal, the scars are a constant reminder of the hurtful things that were said.

Not all words hurt. That’s what makes words so powerful. They can do harm or good. They can scar or heal. They can build up or tear down. Teaching people, children especially that words don’t hurt, is foolish. Why spend time telling the girl crying in the corner that what the other kids say about her don’t matter? To her they do. Why don’t we teach people to be kind? Kindness will get you everywhere in life. You may disagree with me, but then why do websites like Upworthy exist? We are living in a harsh reality where we grasp at good deeds caught on video, like a kid on an unlimited shopping spree at Toys R’ Us. Do kids even like Toys R’Us  anymore? Why? Because there’s so much hurt and pain already in the world that we are starved for anything that reminds us of the goodness of humanity.

The problem is that we spend time on YouTube looking at these videos instead of actively engaging our community. It sounds crazy, cliche, and cheesy, but learning how to say hello and smile at those you pass on the street, in stores, and interact with on a daily basis, whether they are known or unknown to you, is a step towards making a change.

If you have already conquered this simple task. Congrats.

So I’ll offer you a more difficult challenge. Try and reflect on all the words that have left scars, now take a deep breath and let them go. Forgive those who said them. Then reflect on all the words that have left you glowing, have raised you up, affirmed you. Hold tight to them. Write them down. Carry them with you.

We so often cling to the negative and brush aside the compliments and the positive. It should be the opposite, but we all know that doesn’t happen unless we work to make it so.

Practice this over and over again, but don’t dwell on the negative, focus on the positive. These words have defined you, in some way, shape, or form, take ownership, don’t let them continue to define you, rather take control of how they’ll continue to influence you now and in the future.

Use your words for good. Words are powerful. Be conscious of your words, especially when directed at others.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.