But really this is for all the people…

A couple of weeks ago I decided to go to a movie. I know this may come as a shock to some of you, because I never go to movies. Ever.

FYI it is really hard to make the written word come off as sarcastically as I need it to sometimes.

I had finished my work for the day, didn’t have anything planned for the evening, and I had a free ticket that was about to expire. So I looked up showtimes and movies that passes were usable at, and I headed out to see Cinderella. The theater was basically empty when I entered, which isn’t all that unusual for a 4pm showing on a Thursday afternoon, so I took my seat in the middle of the row about half way up (my preferred viewing zone), and settled in to be thoroughly entertained.

A couple of other people wandered in, a mom with her two small children, another mom/child duo, and then lastly, two teenage girls, who proceeded to sit directly behind me. Normally, this wouldn’t bother me, but as the lights went down and the previews started, these two young ladies, started to chat (again not bothersome, because I have been known to be that person from time to time), but just before the movie started I overheard this snippet of conversation,

“Is she here by herself?”

“Who?”

“The girl right in front of us?”

“I guess so.”

“Man that’s so sad, it always bums me out to see people out by themselves…”

In the moment following this exchange I thought about getting up and moving seats just to make it obvious enough that I had overheard them, I also thought about just turning around and making eye contact. I chose to not do either of those things, mainly because it wouldn’t have changed what I’d heard, and it wouldn’t have changed her perspective.

And to be totally honest the animated short Frozen Fever that preceded the movie had just started and I didn’t want to miss that!

The movie came and went with little more input from the girls behind me, save the comments about the Prince’s attractiveness and eye color. (Whereas I kept picturing Robb Stark’s horrific death scene). I left the theater content and thought little more about it, until the next day.

Since that afternoon I haven’t been able to get past that comment, “it always bums me out to see people out by themselves.” Well dear one have I got news for you…

To the young woman who sat behind me at Cinderella on April 9th,

I am sorry that my presence at the theater “bummed” you out. Heaven forbid you see people living their lives as they do, especially if it doesn’t fit into the way you currently see the world.

I am not really sorry, I don’t know if you picked up on that, but I am sorry that you couldn’t see me as I am, a young woman, who enjoys going to the movies. A person who got tired of never doing what they wanted to do, because they had nobody to do it with or people who didn’t want to do it with them. A person who had to build up the courage to actually do things on their own, because our world thinks it strange for people to eat out alone, go to concerts by themselves, or to the movies alone. A person who had to ignore the persistent negative feeling when they were out alone that everyone was talking about them and pitying them. A person that once they found the confidence to do these things also found freedom in being able to fly solo. Because I am that person.

I could regale you with stories about what I have seen and the interactions that I have had whilst doing things without the company of others. And trust me you would be more than entertained. But you don’t know me.

Please know that I am not mad at you, but I am a little bummed that you can’t see how awesome it is to see someone who is living their life without regret, because that’s what I was doing, even in the smallest of ways.

Someday I hope you do take notice of those things.

I hope that during the course of living your life, you take chances and discover new things.

I hope that someday you get to travel and see the world, I hope someday you also find the courage to do things alone, that you may normally only do with others. I hope someday you realize how nice it can be to go and see a movie by yourself. Seriously it’s great, especially dramas. And most of all I hope you someday see how normal it really is to do these things alone.

I am not unsocial, I have friends, good ones. I have friends that have driven what you may consider a great distance to see a movie with me, and I have returned the favor. Hell I’ve driven great distances to see a movie BY MYSELF. This doesn’t sadden me, because I am doing the things I want to do. I won’t regret not going to that concert because I didn’t have anyone to go with, I’ll have a great time, and surely have stories to tell.

I may have been alone for that 120 minute period, but I am far from lonely. 

Sincerely,

Me.

PS If anyone is truly upset about my Game of Thrones spoiler, please understand that happened two years ago, and you are reading this on the internet.

***Updated***
Apparently Slate and I had the same thought…this is good to and super brief!

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2015/04/27/having_fun_in_public_women_should_do_it_too.html